there are anxieties, questions and things that are inexplicably intangible. I have left so many things behind, wonder whether its ever going to be the same or not!
The term "starting afresh" is really misleading. I mean, dont we all start afresh every morning, every moment. How come it does not have the same impact such as this? Every day is the first day of the rest of your life, right? then how come we write these sexy, calling-for-attention journals and diaries (yea, even blogs), about resolutions, about how our new life will be like...? Why is it, that we get intimidated by the aspect of starting life all over again. I know, to some sane people, there is nothing better than that. There are people in i know (misleading term again..), who would kill, murder, gain weight & get plastic surgery to be in my shoes (hell, not becoz im leaving for so-called greener pasteurs, but because i have this wonderful oppertunity to START LIFE OVER)!
Maybe its got to do with the fact that we dont like change. Maybe its got to do with the fact that we get so happy with now, that we dont change..
I loved my life in India.. I had teh best of friends, a loving mom who let me sleep in till 10, a dad who was my atm, a guy i called my boyfriend, who was a nice loving soul, frugal, belliegeren, unpredictable, yes, but i loved him anyway! (haha, Im making it sound so nasty!) Its like this cartoon i saw in USA today, about the Obama campaign. They showed 2 people on an oceanliner, saying "we really should not vote for change, should we?!" I can somewhat empathize, the difference is.. I cant help it. I do have a choice, and if one day, Im loaded with lab work as well as a test I need to prepare for, the day when i have to get up at 6 am with no sun to greet me, or the day i get a BIG BIG BIIIIIG pang of homesickness, I'll just look back at that picture perfect life and say.. "those were the days!"
