helloz...

chalo bhaai... Last frontier..

Got my tickets to fly away, & will leave in July to start life afresh.. matbal, Gulabo pe rose water chidka jaa raha hai, so that she can smell different!!!

AAj ka progress.. well it included calling my relatives up at kolkata to tell them that their "little girl" has grown up... and also to tell them that I'm leaving for the USA (2 unrelated events!!)... Was feeling a little scared & apprehensive. My birthday falls on the 20th of August (which also happens to be world mosquito day... 2 unrelated events again!!) & this would be my first birthday in 20 years (I'll be 21 btw.. meri twacha se mere umr ka pata nahi chalta!) that I'll spend without my parents. It was strange when ma was saying.. "We'll call you on the 20th & say.. happy birthday nanai (mera nickname)!" Well, Its really tough to let go.. especially when the person your letting go off means the world to you.. Was feeling so concerned.. They need help to recharge their phones, or to recharge the satellite TV connections as well, not to mention the washing machine, or the microwave (mum's way of fixing stuff is to slap it on its head.. I mean, its not like its me ma!!!). And its not just that.. man, I need her so bad.. I need her to wake me up at 11 am everyday, tell me what to wear, tell me to lose weight, save me from pa's wrath, cook maach-bhaath & when its too fattening, tell me that its OK! I need her to tell me before every exam that its OK.. Its not like you are gonna top!! Its the sweetest thing ya know.. when she introduces levity, She teaches me that things seem to take care of themselves! How things would be so, so, so, so, soooooo meaningless without her.. the fights, the way me & ma brawled (well by the description, it most certainly doesn't seem like a regular ma-dot relation, Its a lot better!)

Leaving them would be one of the most difficult things. Couple with the sadness is the uncertainty.. how things would be .. I mean its the first time I'd be doing research, How the things are gonna be like..??? Will I fit in? Will I make new friends? Will I manage or succumb? Will I find true love!!! okay the last question was dumb! But then, they say the only thing in the world that's permanent is change... profound, but pretty true (contrary to all profound things in the world!) . So well, I'll let go, enjoy the moment & move on maybe.... maybe!